Unpredictable weather, which means you’re lugging your umbrella around with you on sunny days unless you’re sure to have four dollars in your pocket for a cheap quickie on the street.
It will take you double the amount of time to get anywhere on the metro. Especially if you’re fucking around with the 6 train or you’re foolish enough to try and go anywhere that’s more than a mile from your house on the weekend.
Unless you have a job lead for someone, some kind of material “hookup” to offer or some juicy ass gossip you will find yourself pretty friendless.
New York men are so noncommittal and emotionally retarded they can’t even commit to casual sex. Therefore, if you want to have regular sex it will have to be with a harem of several different people.
Bloomberg always has a semi smirk on his face.
Tourists are annoying anywhere they are in the city. They take up the entire sidewalk and then look up at the sky completely oblivious to their surroundings. Do the tourists know something we New Yorkers don’t? Does God live in the sky above NYC? I may invest in a row paddle and just start waving the shit back and forth in front of me to make a freaking path.
Too many New York women think busting peoples balls and being a bitch is what being a New York woman is all about. It’s not. Smart, independent, witty, charming, endearing, sexy, jetsetting, worldly, creative, rich, broke, poor, ceiling busters, whistle blowers, artistic, realistic, idealistic, single moms, fighters of injustice are New York women.
Unless you don’t eat because you are trying to control your weight [which speaks to roughly forty-five percent of the NYC population] you spend sixty percent of you check on rent and the other forty goes towards food.
To afford Time Warner cable and a vacation outside of NYC you need a sugar daddy/mamma or your parents are footing the bill. [note: the author of this blog has none of the above therefore she does not have cable and cannot afford to go on vacation].
New Yorkers have short attentions spans and lack patience. If you meet someone who does not have a short attention span or they seem to have loads of patience you’re initial thought is something is wrong with them.
All New Yorkers suffer from some varying level of paranoia.
Say What?!