Why is it so hard to unfriend an ex on Facebook post breakup and what does it mean when both the breaker upper and the broken hearted stay Facebook friends? Watching each others updates; getting upset and hurt when the other is having fun and finding solace when it seems they’re having a bad day. Yet neither will make the first move to unfriend the other.
In the past I’ve gone almost mad not knowing what an ex was doing as I fought the urge to call them, wondering if they were thinking about me as much as I thought about them. These days I can skip right past the should or shouldn’t I call angst and find out how the ex spent their entire day, only to be crushed by the news that were out having fun, without me.
The worst experience was going to my homepage one afternoon and seeing a picture they had posted of themselves with another woman, smiling. Since then I’ve learned how to block their posts and updates from my homepage, but the fact is I can still check up on them. It’s the passive aggressive way to drag out my own pain. A case of it hurts so bad it feels good. And when I do go to their page to sneak a look aka be a fly on the wall, I have only myself to blame since I know good and well I should have stayed away from their page in the first place as I spiral into a pit of self-loathing and self-pity. Yet, I have to admit that when things are going good for me I have no qualms splashing the news on my page in hopes that they’re reading about all my fun, without them.
Deleting an ex means I cannot check up on them to satisfy that irritating urge to see what they’re up to and being deleted from someone’s page feels like the ultimate slap in the face. The final finito to a relationship or friendship, the “once you click this button there’s no going back, it’s over for good.” Is refusing to delete each other a sign that perhaps there’s still hope or is it that neither person wants to be seen as the one who couldn’t be a big enough person to stay friends post break-up?
Heartbreak is not a fickle web application. Yet here we all are managing our deep emotional relationships via the internet. I can create an emoticon with tears but it’s not the same as the tears in my eyes and the feeling of my heart being bludgeoned to death when I’m rejected by the person I cared for in such an intimate manner.
How do we unstick ourselves in this uncharted territory? I thought writing this article would be the FB therapy I needed to press delete. Guess not.
Say What?!