The Insatiable Appetite

Women are never satisfied, he said. The comment stopped me dead in my tracks as my mind flitted through hundreds of past experiences. I cocked my head to side and had to agree with him. Men who are satisfied with life we label as lacking ambition. Most women without ambition are usually looking for men with ambition to do the work for them.

From the chicken head from around the way looking for a guy to pay for her nails and hair to get done to the high-end gold digger that searches out wealthy-only husbands. Women are constantly in search to acquire material things, societal status, or a certain look to make her feel more beautiful, desirable and complete as a woman.

Now the insatiable appetite for more afflicts everyone both men and women, just look at Wall Street. But I have to agree with these young men that for the everyday guy not bending the rules in downtown Manhattan, it can seem like the average woman is constantly hungry and food is the least of her troubles.

Envy at what she doesn’t have consumes American women: clothes as nice as “hers.” breasts as big as that one, skinny as the other girl over there, tummy as flat, hair as long, curly, straight or blond; skin as light, tanned, taught, smooth and wrinkle free. Eyes as pretty, lashes as long, feet as small, as tall, as short, booty as big or as small; car as nice, boyfriend/husband as rich, vacation to the Alps, Caribbean, Europe, Miami. The fucking lists can go on for days and years and they all contradict each other. One third wants a smaller booty, the other third wants a bigger booty and the last third can’t make up their minds. Who can find satisfaction in life when they can’t even decide what they want. Someone will always be better or have more.

I do know that there are many men also who desire the “perfect woman” and she has to conform to some weird combination of the lists above. Perhaps because I am not caught up in the envy game of “I want what she’s got” I’m not attracted to those men and I count myself lucky. Those guys also suffer from the envy virus and run in circles trying to keep up while looking to get fast money, whether it’s selling drugs on the street corner or stealing money on Wall Street.

I chatted the two guys up a bit more and then went home to sleep off my glass of pinot noir and the lychee martini that followed it. The conversation reminded me that it’s my job to focus on being happy with what I got and take the new that is offered me with grace. I appreciate my ambition but I don’t aspire to be a great writer because I’m trying to put Shakespeare to shame (ha!). Envy is a nasty virus. Life is over the day I’m so consumed by the beauty or greatness I see in someone else that I have to try and cut them down, or steal what they’ve got, to feel good about myself.

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