I’m not interested in finding a husband, having a couple of whiny kids fighting in the background, waking at the crack of dawn to get the husband and kids out the door for work and school along with myself to then come home cook, clean and deal with the husband and whiny kids again before falling exhausted into bed each night. Then step and repeat day after day until the kids leave the nest, the husband leaves me for a younger woman or I die. Maybe I’m being too hard on the institution of marriage. Perhaps, I’m not seeing its beauty.
Marry money you say? Sure I could marry a wealthy fella so I can have a nanny, stay at home and hang out with the other mommies whose husbands bring home the bacon. But even that set-up is not the answer for the bored housewife and the condescending controlling husband who’s banging his secretary while feeling completely trapped by the nincompoop he’s married to, but if he divorces her now she’ll take him for all he’s got.
Maybe if I weren’t the oldest in my family of six kids and two divorces I would have a brighter outlook on the above ideals of so many but in a very organic way I’ve already been there, done that and let me tell you it’s whack. Yet many singles out there don’t discover this fact until they’re knee deep in the shit. And we haven’t even touched on the sexless marriages, lack of communication, money arguments – he’s too cheap, she spends too much, lack of laughter and enjoyment of each others company, etc, etc…
Life is but a series of experiences. Good, bad, fun, smelly, painful and then we die. Everything we start will come to an end. Happiness will at some point turn to sadness. The shit people spend their money on will deteriorate; get holey, moldy and at some point hold no value at all because nothing lasts forever, the yin and the yang. So, why go barreling into something that most people find absolutely miserable? What’s the current divorce rate in America? Depends on who you’re talking to but the general consensus seems to be anywhere between 40-60 percent.
With the sexual explosion in the sixties folks tried living in communal houses, an alternative attempt at to the status quo model, but fucking a house full of people obviously was not the answer. Fast forward fifty years, I know both straight and gay couples who practice open relationships but I honestly don’t think they’re worth the effort. Open relationships take up more time than raising six kids and working two jobs. I could always stick with superfluous relationships with multiple lovers, never getting attached, never getting too involved but the problem with that is we live in a time when sex can kill. I can only dream of the days when things weren’t so severe. Also, once I get old and wrinkly I think I’d like to have someone to hang out with and chat.
Forty years ago I would have been considered a spinster. Today I’m an independent woman. Although the latter is more socially acceptable both suck right along with their alternatives. I guess if I become bored enough perhaps nature will over power me I’ll get hitched and take one of the models above, or just fuck it all and pay for my own nanny. That’s unless I can find and alternative to the alternatives.
Have you read Committed? You hit on a lot of the topics and contradictions Ms. Gilbert does. Amidst her sobering stats and anecdotes are some fun, sometimes reassuring surprises about the institution.
I haven’t read that book. When I get back from my retreat next week I will totally check it out. After a session of yoga and a green vegetable juice I’m feeling slightly more optimistic, but not much! Ha!