Stressed and overwhelmed, I once cried over the phone to a girlfriend of mine something to the effect of, “why am I always struggling and fighting to keep things together, I swear I fell like I’m doomed for failure.” My girlfriend, a shining star in my life, didn’t miss a beat; her response stopped my tears short, “Keisha, you take risks in life. You don’t sit by the wayside waiting for things to happen and because you put yourself out there you are bound to find obstacles of all kinds along the way with big wins and big disappointments,” she said.
As we wallowed about in our twenties her words of wisdom stayed with me. Courage is a strong point of mine and risk taking has always left me wiser and at times astounded. Life is a series of experiences. You either aim high towards those that feel good and bring you joy or you sit stagnant in the bad experiences of yesteryear, shading all of your new experience with the residual feelings of pain and sorrow.
Now my emotions can liken to that a rollercoaster gone out of control but I see it as a part of my overall experience and roll with it as I remind myself to follow my gut instincts and live free. The mother of a good friend of mine once said in a quiet voice to me, “…Keisha I always knew you were a free spirit.” This was said in context to the fact that I was not settling down and marrying her son, in which it had always been assumed by both our families that I would. But I wasn’t ready to stay put in one place just yet. I had so much do, and I still do!
Years ago I said to myself that I never wanted to live and die in the same state and city I was born, never to see and experience the rest of the world. I’ve kept that promise to myself. The day I stop living free, taking risks and enjoying the wonderment of the ride is the day I will perish into oblivion. Some days this life philosophy can be a blessing and others (when the going is rough) it can seem like a curse. But dammit I’m alive and I’ve got no other option but to live.
Say What?!