On the eve of a new decade, as folks gear up to act upon or find excuses to avoid their New Year’s resolutions of 2010, I find myself reflecting on the last (and very climatic) year of the most tumultuous decade since the 60′s.
The first black president, the Madoff scandal that eclipsed the fall of Enron and Anderson consulting as the biggest financial “WTF?!” of the decade, swine flu, the Chris Brown beating of Rihanna regurgitating cycles of decades past, the melt-down of the American economy, unemployment sky high and the cost of living sharing the same rector scale, 9/11, the war (Cheney’s accusation that Obama is acting like there isn’t a war – Obama just lost brownie points for sending more troops to Afghanistan – who is allowing Cheney airtime? Oh yeah, Fox), the billion dollar corporations demanding government bailouts, as their flunkies (politicians) scream that health care reform is the government taking control of the people’s free will, and the list goes on.
In the midst of the malady and chaos I found myself depressed, miserable, numb, flabbergasted, in search of a positive angle, offended, exclaiming the cup is half full, sleeping and napping like it’s the answer to climate change, laughing, crying, angry, defeated, just trying to get through the day. Now, in the eleventh hour I’ve realized that what I’ve gotten out of all the craziness is priceless and almost worth every tear, frown, tummy ache, neck ache and everything else I’ve experienced along the way.
With eyes wide open this is what became crystal clear amongst the muck:
1.) Self-respect is not always admired by others but at the end of the day you have to live with yourself and your decisions. There’s no one else staring back at you as you linger in front the mirror.
2.) Standing up for oneself and others takes courage. It can be scary but the payoff is priceless, regardless of the outcome.
3.) Taking responsibility for your actions builds character and integrity. Cowardice is never admirable, even when you’re alone in a dark room with no mirrors.
4.) To judge others means you are avoiding the sludge in your own life. People spend lifetimes doing this and I’m not referring to the profession. I’m talking about the Susan’s, LaQuita’s and John Doe’s who sit around turning their noses up at others to make up for feelings of inequity. Are you really going to waste your life doing the same?
5.) You can cry and brood over yesterday but if you don’t pick yourself up, life will leave you behind. You will be the lone star in the played-out rerun of the crap that happened back when…
6.) No one is worth sacrificing your very last for unless they’ve already done the same for you in some manner or they’ve sprung from your loins/womb AND are too young to fend for themselves or do not have the mental/physical capacity. For all you 18+ folks – unless you’re a bonafide mental case, get up off your butt and be an adult.
7.) We all have ruts, negative cycles and patterns. Being aware of them is the first step. The next step is doing something about it. No excuses.
8.) The ability to honestly say you messed up; shed your guilt and shame and move on from the debacle. Guilt, anger and shame poison your relationships both existing and new.
9.) If you don’t love yourself, you cannot give or receive love in a positive, healthy manner. We’ve heard this a thousand times but it’s truly a tragedy amongst mankind. The inability to love self enables child abuse, spousal abuse, and toxic relationships of all sorts, strife, war, nonsense and more. Self love is not mindless ego tripping. It’s grounded, self-respecting love for the person wearing your face.
10.) There is no bucket of happiness at the end of the rainbow. Happiness is being content with self and the life you chose to live. You can experience happiness one hundred, one thousand or zero times in a day if you choose. It’s now or never to live life to the maximum, if not you’ll miss out on it all and it’s no one’s fault but your own.
Now that we’ve reflected on lessons learned, Happy New Year!
Say What?!