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During a recent discussion with a friend of mine we both realized we’re more alike than previously thought. See, she’s always in a relationship. I’m not. I always thought I had a fear of commitment but have recently come to terms that that’s not my problem. I commit to lots of things. I have long-time friends. I pay my rent. I easily see projects through to the end. In reality I’m a pretty committed person.
Turns out we both she and I have a fear of intimacy. Yet, according to societies standards we girls supposedly have been dreaming of marriage and children since we were three. At three, I was deciding what I wanted to be when I grew up and had decided I wanted to be a doctor, a lawyer, a ballet dancer, an ice skater and the president. The problem I faced at the time was how I would do them all. Never did I see a future husband. I never dreamed of a big wedding and I never dreamt of having kids. [...]
Judge not thy neighbor. Although I have to say everyone seems addicted to judging and critiquing anyone they can muster a breath about: strangers, co-workers, lovers, friends, family, the president, people in big cities, middle-America, Europeans, Muslims. It’s an epidemic.
You cannot put people in boxes. It’s impossible. We’re constantly changing, evolving, discovering new things about ourselves and hiding portions of ourselves from the outside world. If someone’s behavior does not flow well with me I go my own way. No need to ostracize or put them down, I’ve got better things to do. [...]
My health woes have flared. My GI tract is in pain, inflamed, bloated and cranky, which in turn leaves me cranky and moody. The most recent catalyst came in the cloak of a fresh vegetable juice and a healthy salad to follow. The mistake was dandelion. Yup, that great herb that ensures the liver is functioning properly turned my world into hell. [...]
Women are never satisfied, he said. The comment stopped me dead in my tracks as my mind flitted through hundreds of past experiences. I cocked my head to side and had to agree with him. Men who are satisfied with life we label as lacking ambition. Most women without ambition are usually looking for men with ambition to do the work for them.
From the chicken head from around the way looking for a guy to pay for her nails and hair to get done to the high-end gold digger that searches out wealthy-only husbands. Women are constantly in search to acquire material things, societal status, or a certain look to make her feel more beautiful, desirable and complete as a woman. [...]
The wintery cold weather that is; I on the other hand am meandering up that hill like the little engine that could, but with noted less enthusiasm. Having completed the draft of my beloved novel a few weeks ago I’m struggling to find the strength to tackle the edits and rewrites like a champ. Instead I spend my days shooting the shit more or less in like of a chimp.
After an inspiring conversation last week with another writer over mid-morning tea I went through my closets and threw away tons of old junk that I’ve been avoiding. During this cleaning event several bags of trash went out. A suitcase full on unused and old clothes sits waiting for me to drag down to the Salvation Army this week. [...]
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Say What?!